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The Deal With Friends with Benefits, Should It Be Done?

I have noticed this to be a common place with alot of people. Quite frankly, I think it promotes selfishness and loose morals, but that’s their choice to be that way. The main reason that this is becoming more common, that friends with benefits a way to “Have their cake and eat it too”, I’m sorry, but most of the time, this can’t be done nor can be expected.

Sure, it might start off fine, but then one person will eventually get emotional, want to take the relationship to the serious level, and something’s got to give.

I know a variant of this, Friends with Benefits. Apparently I know this woman in her late 30’s, single, never married, no kids, has a “guy that she is seeing” that’s how she puts it, and she does not refer to him as a boyfriend. (As a side note, it’s hard these days to put a label on the status that two people are currenty in).

Supringly she prefers it that way, the distance works out that way, because she doesn’t have to see him alot, and she prefers her freedom, she says HE is the only one that is making trips to go see him, never once has she designated a trip to go see him, very one-sided, and very selfish on her part. But, he’s the fool that’s driving down there, probably just thinking below the belt if you get my meaning.

She mentioned that he does have plans to move back to the home town she’s in, and well, that’s not good…sounds like he plans to have a future with her, and she’s not so enthusiastic about it, because this would mean loss of her freedoms and independence….heck, it’s not like you have to move in with each other, just live in the same town. Her excuse is, that she had been in a long term relationship with a guy, and now she’s enjoying her freedoms.

What’s really odd is that she is a WOMAN. That’s right, a woman, I thought it was the women that got seriously and emotionally attached to a guy, even if it was a fling! But are the tables turning now that women just want a fling, and nothing more? Yeah, big suprise, I guess women are playing the man’s role of “player”. Alot of women, esp career oriented women, apparently are so focused on their “Career” that they don’t want to have to deal with a boyfriend or something. (Personally, I don’t see how it could interfere actually, I mean, you go to work, come home on the weekends and have fun with your sig. other).
At any rate, people attempting the whole friends with benefits thing is probably going to open up a whole can of worms, and I would strongly advise against it. At least be a boyfriend/girlfriend couple while doing this.

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2 Responses to 'The Deal With Friends with Benefits, Should It Be Done?'

  1. lisaq - October 7th, 2007 at 9:47 pm

    i agree with you…entered into a FWB situation myself that ended with me becoming very emotionally attached…all this time later, i still can’t entirely get the man out of my system (read today’s post for more on that!) :D great site!

  2. FeelingFlirty - October 8th, 2007 at 8:08 am

    Many people assume that friends with benefits is only for married people who are cheating and that’s very much not so. I know of many people who are single but haven’t found the right one but HAVE found someone who’ll be ok for now.

    To meet the same person over and over for intimacy, touching and even sex is better than these people missing out I think. Nothing feels better than a hug. :)


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